how to (almost) miss an international flight

1. leave three hours early
2. not be able converse in the same language as the cab driver
3. fail to realize that air france has two terminals in paris: international and domestic
4. have the cab driver drop you off for your international flight at the domestic terminal
5. discover that you cannot check in for your flight at this terminal
   
6. spend 20 minutes trying to figure out why your flight is not at this terminal
   
7. go to the free shuttle in order to the other terminal
8. find out that you need a boarding pass to get on the shuttle
9. try to get a boarding pass
10. see # 5
11. run to the next terminal (with luggage)
12. stand in line
13. find out that this line is for international flights NOT going to america
14. try to switch lines international flights going to america
    
15. discover that it is now one hour prior to your flight. they are not letting people check in anymore
16. ask air france agent # 1 if you can please get in line.
    
17. ask air france agent's manager if you can please get in line. beg. plead.
    
18. talk your way into the line
19. stand in line
20. ask them to move you to the front of the line when it is 15 minutes before your flight departs
21. check in
    
22. run to security at 10 minutes prior to departure.
    
23. listen as the security lady tries to explain how many oz of 'tonic' you can have
    
24. get through security at three minutes before departure
25. have your wife's bag held up in the x-ray machine
    
26. sprint to your gate, hoping to hold the plane for your wife
27. arrive at gate 1 minute past departure
28. catch breath
29. explain that your wife is on running on her way
30. swipe boarding pass. stand behind gate agent, with one foot in the walkway, to ensure that they can't close gate door without you and your wife.
31. walk on plane 5 minutes past departure
32. convince stranger to switch seats so you and your wife can sit together
33. realize that you put your book in your check-in luggage
34. discover that they have on-demand movies, including the watchmen