start with a jug of week old milk

1. start with a jug of week old milk, the kind you come back home from vacation and find in your fridge
   
2. let it sit in the sun for a few days
3. now cook it in the microwave, on high, for 10 minutes
4. make sure it has some solid cheesey chunks floating in it
5. toss the jug in the car of your trunk and let it ferment for another week so you have a primordial soup

now open up the jug and smell it.

that is what my soccer socks and shinguards smelled like last night. i tossed them in my soccer bag a couple of weeks ago after a game and forgot about them until yesterday's game.

i smelled so bad that i had to drive with the windows down in 40 degree weather. while warming up, my team mates would not come near me. it was my first game with this team, so now they probably think of me as the smelly guy. a great first impression.