National Darkroast Day

The chief just published his first book. Clearly, as his college room mate and best man in his wedding, i am a bit biased, but i want to say that this is a fantastic book.

National Darkroast Day is available on amazon (as well as iuniverse). I've read the book and it is freaking hilarious. It's an intelligent, sharply written satire that comments on corporate greed and american consumerist culture. the backdrop features a strikingly familiar-sounding coffee company. good characters, great plot, really strong pacing, and most importantly, a fun read. i could go on about it, but i'll leave it here. so, order the book (it's $17 on amazon). read it. you'll love it.

if reader reviews count for you, here's what the first reader review on amazon says:

Reviewer:

Eric Wasserman (Santa Monica, CA)

A tour de force of social commentary that combines the classic satire of Jonathan Swift with the gut-laughter of South Park. Confident and assured in its style, pinpoint-precise in its approach, National Darkroast Day is an impressive debut from a writer with true staying power! If you like novels such as C.D. Payne's hysterical Frisco Pigeon Mambo or Gulliver's Travels, this is a must read!

and here's the book summary from iuniverse:

At the turn of the 21st century, the CEO of Darkroast Coffee—America’s largest and most popular corporation—launches a major holiday called National Darkroast Day. The holiday is supposed to be a national celebration complete with baristas, festivities, free coffee, and an entertaining Moon Laser Show. Secretly, National Darkroast Day is an evil plot to take over and destroy the entire country. A group of heroes must race against the clock to stop the CEO and save America. In doing so, these heroes unravel a blockbuster secret about Darkroast’s CEO and company origins—a secret that makes their battle a death-defying showdown against the ultimate enemy.

minority types

just got back from dropping dr. wintermute off at the airport. she's headed to vegas for a chicks weekend. first time there for her. will report on the results in in a few days.

when i last blogged, dr. w and i were trying to find our way to dc, our soon-to-be home, for some house hunting. the airports had closed and we were trying to get creative. we both wintermuted our way on to flights the next day. dr. w actually first coined the phrase of using my name as a verb, based on my uncanny knack for improvising and negotiating my way through tight spots, especially when it comes to airports. as one of my profs at the big h said, negotiating is the art of letting other people have your way. ben on lost does it pretty well, though he seems to cross the line into pathological territory.

anyway, we finagled flights to charlotesville, where dr. w's brother lives. the plan was to arrive on early flights and then have him drive us to dc (only 2 hours away). however, he was tied up with school stuff (he's getting his phd in chemical engineering there. yeah, dr. w's family is really into the doctorate thing). so plan b (what am i saying, we're now on plan d) is that we rent a car and drive. no sweat. i had called avis and made it a point to tell reserve a car with my wizard # and preferred renter account. it makes things a lot quicker and easier, and i knew we'd be pressed for time once we got there.

dr. w gets up early (like 3:30 am) and heads to the airport (she's in soflo; i'm in atl) to catch a 5:20 flight to charlotte, from where she's supposed to connect to Charlottesville. i grab an 8 flight to cincinnati to get my connection. just before i get on my flight in atl, dr. w calls me. she's landed in charlotte, but her flight to c'ville has been cancelled, no apparent reason why.

fukstix. so she gets in the customer service line. us airways has actually stopped answering the phones because they are so overwhelmed. i land in the nati, call her, and she's STILL in line for customer service. she waits in line for four hours. and amazingly, she gets a seat on a flight directly to national airport! unbelievable.

i get on my flight c'ville. i go to get my car, and unsurprisingly, they have forgotten to put in my preferred status. so instead of going straight to my car, i have to wait in a slow line, provide my credit info, license, etc. avis costs more, but i don't mind paying because it's more convenient. when they fuck this kind of shit up, it defeats the purpose of not renting from dollar or budget. i point this out to them. the girl behind the counter is too overwhelmed with customers to do anything.

meanwhile, dr. w's flight to dc has been delayed two hours, but it still looks like she'll make it.

i get to dc in two hours and meet up with our first agent. the new plan is that the chief (with whom we're staying) will pick up dr. w and drop her off wherever i am with the agent.

the first agent is super nice and very cool, for a mom. in fact, she's kind of like the mom everyone wishes they had. i have a good rapport with her. my only hang up is that she's not well organized. despite traveling for about 20 hours, i arrived within 8 minutes of when i said i would. at that point, she starts calling houses to make sure they're available and printing off cut sheets that summarize the properties. uhh, couldn't you have done this anytime this morning before i got there? it's called preparing ahead of time. i freaking hate people who waste my time.

well, anyway, i still like her. dr. w lands and meets up with us about an hour later, but she doesn't dig this agent so much. well, we see about 12 places and call it a day. we're exhausted. by the time we eat dinner and kill a few drinks and get back to the chief and chief chick's place, dr. w has been up for almost 21 hours straight.

the next morning i haul ass to get the rental car returned by 9 am (we're meeting the next agent at 9:30). 10 and we still haven't heard from him. at 10:30 he calls and says he didn't realize we were meeting at 9:30. are you freaking kidding me? you mean, besides the 7 emails we exchanged during the week to set this up?

he picks us up at 11:30 (which is very nice of him, to come get us). he then proceeds to give us a 30 minute geography lesson while driving around bethesda. he rattles off every street name as if that will mean anything to us.

while seeing a few places, he keeps referencing that 'minority types' live here (and uses quote fingers. uggg). after several repetitions, dr. w has finally had enough and asks him what the hell he means by 'minority types.' turns out he's referring to the fact that there's a lot of section 8 housing around. fine. just say so. dr. w points out that i am a 'minority type' (something to that effect, but not as confrontational as i've made it sound). he mumbles something awkwardly. the weird thing is that he's a minority himself (well, he seems to be very, very gay. i realize that i don't know that for a fact).

weirdly, dr. w kind of likes him. i don't like him at all. minority type comment aside, the geography lesson was a complete waste. and showing up two hours late without an excuse (even saying, "gosh guys, i just missed it," or "you know what, i misunderstood you" would have been better).

we've just about had enough. we really want to call it a day, but agree that as long as we have another appointment, we might as well keep it. this guy is a referal from a section mate of mine from the big h. turns out he's a big h alumnus himself.

dr. w and i like him immediately. he's smart, organized, and analytical. we spend the entire two hours discussing the market and a strategy for working together, rather than just trying to pound pavement. he's very data oriented, and shares in a not-show-offy-way that he's been ranked the # 1 agent in his realty company (realty companies are loose confederations of small companies), by sales in 2006. we like him. he seems trustworthy.

so we're done. we accomplished our goal of picking an agent with whom to sign an exclusive contract.

of course, the way home wouldn't be complete without some adventure. our flight is delayed two hours. then they can't find the flight crew. then the crew shows up, but they've forgotten to clean the plane ahead of time! then we load the plane. well, it's gotten so late that we're past the airport's curfew, and the plane is too heavy (i have NO idea how these two things are even related). so they make seven passengers get off the plane! this is the last flight of the day. it's now 11 pm. tomorrow's a work day. if they asked me to leave, i'm not sure what i would have done. well, nothing actually, because brown skinned people shouldn't do anything strange on a plane.

we land at 1:30 am. mission accomplished.

house hunt...almost

we were all psyched for our first househunting trip, ever. dr. w is flying from soflo, i'm coming in from dc, we've been doing research for weeks. have scanned almost hundreds of listings and talking to a bunch of agents. picked three agents for our short list, made plans to stay with the chief and chick and see some other friends while there. have house viewing appointments booked up all day saturday and sunday. spreadsheets galore--you better believe we built a massive one to plan our biggest purchase ever!

all of this is on hold as the weather sucks in dc and the airport is closed due to freezing rain. all flights canceled. i'm currently on hold with delta, sitting at the gate in hartsfield. dr. wintermute is in line in soflo. because we're on different airlines from different cities, it's hard to coordinate. there are no seats available tomorrow. none. zip.

so now i am ticketed for a flight at 6:20 sunday morning. would mean going to dc for the day. at least we get a day. since this is weather related, we forfeit the tickets if we don't make the trip.

shitballz.

spring break in whiteville

key west was fantastic. the drive down there took longer than expected, but it was worth it. we did a vacation that was the antithesis of my family's usual MO: we stayed in a good resort, we actually did activities, and we did stuff the ladies wanted to do. growing up, a typical vacation consisted of: saving money, going to some godforsaken small town that had cheap condo sublets, sitting around the place while the dads watched tv and told jokes and the moms cooked, and finding indian or chinese restaurants. activities were minimal. now, before i sound like a complete ungrateful brat, i should acknowledge that first of all, i'm lucky that we even had vacations. many (probably most) families do not. on top of it, we went on some sweet trips, including a couple of cruises and disney world. finally, no matter where we went, we always with family, and i'm very close to my cousins thanks to it, and i'm forever grateful for it.

as soon as we got there, mpg and i dropped of the girls at a spa (ms. mpg's birthday was friday, dr. wintermute's was on monday), and then went to the hotel. we grabbed a beer, chilled a bit, and then it was time to pick up the girls. then we went to a nice meal in downtown key west, and relaxed afterwards. the next day we did an all-day sea excursion. not cheap by any means, but well worth it. from 10 am to 4 pm, a big catamaran took us about an hour off shore, where we snorkeled (3rd largest coral reef in the world), rode jet skis, rode banana boats, hung out on a water trampoline, and tried para-sailing. the only downside was unsurprisingly, i spent the first 45 minutes laying on a bench with motion sickness. it sucks. they fed us good food and there was cold beer.

at night dr. w and i chilled out while the mpgs did a sunset cruise (two water activities in a day was too much for me). dinner downtown again. dr. w and i walked from our hotel to downtown. "how long do you think it will take?" she asked. "hmm, 20, maybe 30 minutes."

an hour and fifteen minutes later, we were there. but we did get to see the famed key west sunset along the way, and picked up some key lime pie (i reasoned that on vacation, it's ok, and maybe even encouraged, to eat dessert before dinner). by far, the most perfect dessert ever is on key west: key lime pie in a flaky crust dipped in chocolate on a popsicle stick. it has chocolate, it has pie crust, it's tangy, it's portable. unbeatable.

the next day we had ordered in-room massages for the chicks as one last birthday surprise. then we hit the beach.

now, all weekend we had seen surprisingly few spring breakers--whether in downtown key west or on the sea excursion. turns out they were all on the beach. i could barely see any sand. it was pure americana. thousands of 20-year-olds pour beer into plastic cups (key west law says anything goes as long as it's in a plastic cup), scoping each other out and soaking in the sun. however, what was notable was that it was singularly caucasion. now, i have done one 'typical' spring break trip--to nassau (way back when). i also did one spring break as a grad student to costa rica. although the latter was way chill, there were plenty of college spring breakers to observe. so i claim that i've done two of these trips.

and never have i seen such a homogeneous crowd. it was as if every stereotypical fraternity and sorority dude and chick showed up in key west, and kept it at big secret from all of the indian, asian, and african-american students. i mean, there's plenty of those people in the greek systems across american, but somehow they don't do spring break? i'm not sure what's happening here or why. i'm not exaggerating, mpg and i were the ONLY non-caucasians on the beach. dr. w claims to have seen one black guy. ok, fine, i'll give you that one. but that's it? among thousands of students?

why do only the white students come here?

and just as intriguing, where do all of the other students go? is there some indian spring break that i never new about? my indian friends (and fraternity brothers) went on the same spring break as everyone else when i was in college.

and has this changed recently? if, so, why? it wasn't like this as recently within the last decade.

has anyone else noticed this? can you think back to your spring break days...was it this segregated?

bloodninja on the news

bloodninja was on the local news in austin. he talks about public transportation and how sweet google's new app is. bloodninja should quit being an architect and go work for google.

anyway, here's the blog post, complete with clip from the news: click here.

spring break express

just got to soflo. just about every spring breaker was at hartsfield. was on airtrain, aka, the spring break express. literally, 25 fraternity dudes from IU.

mpg and ms. mpg are flying in tonight, and we're headed to key west early tomorrow morning. lots of relaxing.

celebrating ms. mpg's birthday today, and dr. wintermute's on monday.

should be more tame than fantasy fest, though mpg has been known to rock the body paint, occasionally.

natural flavor

i'm sitting in the vw shop in soflo. i should be unhappy at having dropped $2,000 this week into dr. w's car between a new fender, new headlamps, and a new a/c compressor.

instead, i'm smiling, as i'm blogging from the workstation at the shop. they actually have a quiet set of cubicles that are glassed off.

the main reason that i am not unhappy is that i found a fantastic bbq joint, called the georgia pig, down the street for lunch. it reminds me that i'm often asked my fellow yankee transplants what makes a good southern bbq. there's actually no one single thing that defines authentic bbq. however, the more of these things that your bbq joint, has, the more genuine it is. Real bbq joints:

• cook their meat with natural flavor, so it needs just a dab of bbq sauce. if you have to drown the meat in sauce, they haven't done it right. the meat should have a heavy smoked flavor, so that the meat has a pink tinge.
  
• are family-owned. the owner should work there.
• are clearly committed to either vinegar-based bbq or molasses-based bba, but never both.
• do not accept credit card. cash only.
• have one and only one location. no chains.
  
• serve sweet tea. brewed sweet--not that lipton shit with splenda added. it should make your head hurt.
• make the food out where you can see it. the cook should be chopping or pulling the meat right behind the counter.
• have a menu that fits on one page. two pages max.
• have a old school jukebox, the kind where you press the buttons to flip the records. it should have lots of hank williams and johnny cash.
  
• have local restaurant reviews from the paper, but nothing from zagat's.
• have waitresses that call you, "sugar," "honey," or "sweetie."
• sell candy that you never find anywhere else.
• have the following side items: corn on the cob, cornbread, casserole-style macaroni & cheese, french fires
• have the following desserts: pecan pie, key lime pie, sweet potato pie, and something that has tons of chocolate.
  

shower

How To Shower - Men & Women - The funniest videos are a click away



uncannily accurate and hilarious. safe for work.

eclipse

courtesy Tsitika

relaxing weekend. went to the beach saturday night to see the rare lunar eclipse, but it was too cloudy. however, there are a bunch of good photos on flickr--i snagged one


did see 'zodiac.' strangely, jake gyllenhall didn't seem to age much from 1967 to 1983. still, good flick.

bialy

it is very difficult to find a good bialy (it's a mix between a bagel and an english muffin). when i lived in ny, my corner deli made the perfect two egg whites with salt on a toasted, buttered bialy. wrapped in tin foil. no brainer. the perfect breakfast to eat on the run while trying to catch the 4/5 express to grand central.

have since spent 6+ years looking for a place that makes a good bialy. a futile search.

until now. am blogging from a place appropriately, and simply, named "bagels." discovered it when dropping off our car for some repairs.

have had breakfast and worked from here the past few days. it's quiet, plenty of power outlets, and i get a great signal. the couple that owns / runs this place is from the northeast (boston) and concur on the importance of finding a bialy that is up to snuff.