i hate

academia.

tenured profs who don't give a shit about their students.

hate. like no redeeming qualities. not dislike. not merely despise. like deep down, gut-wrenching hatred.

(watch this post come up in some testimony some day and bite me in the ass).

pretty much rules out the chance of a repeat

this weekend sucked.

after pummeling kellogg (which we thought was going to be our toughest game) we lost to rice in a 2-1 shocker. rice. that's like pauly shore beating evander holyfield.

at that point we panicked and lost our shit. we proceeded to lose ucla 2-0. and just like that, last year's champions were out in the first round.

fucking. a.

one of my team mates flew ten hours from chile for this tournament. that must have been a long flight home.

the fact that it rained all weekend with temperatures hovering in the low 40s did not help.

oh, and austin's mardi gras sucks.

but the food is still good. hit kerbey lanes twice, one short of last year's record.

big up to santi for hosting me. big up to bloodninja and mrs. bloodninja for the phat gifts. a talking napoleon dynamite doll. flipping sweet.

this just in...

...scott stapp still sucks. his website makes my ears hurt.

a lot.

but he's playing at the roxy tonight. thanks to fatasianbaby for the heads up.

hoping for a repeat

hello from austin, one of my favorite cities in the country. it's like someone pulled up a piece of california and dropped it into texas.

if i lived here i would weigh 18 lbs more, at least. the food is so fricking good. hit kerbey lanes last night as soon as i got in. i had been craving their megas (scrambled eggs with verde sauce, cheese, chipotle sauce, rice, black beans, all in a tortilla--now that's what i call a taco!) since i was here at the same time last year. it hit the spot.

soccer tournament with the h alumni team starts tomorrow. facing off against kellogg (northwestern) and ucla to start the weekend. tough bracket. i thought last year's champions deserved an easier first round. isn't that how it's supposed to work?

updates to follow.

it's rainy and miserable here. it mirrors my mood.

smell ya later, larry

the great larry is out on his ass.

he guest lectured one class of mine. it was arguably the most boring, least informative 80 minutes of my entire time at big h. of course, they brought him to talk about TIPS. the man was a fricking cabinet member under billy boy, and they have him talk about inflation-protected securities?

he's going to be remembered for two things:

1. saying that woman are not as smart as men. nice legacy, larry.
2. moving the rats from the rosebush moving h from cambridge to allston via the greatest undercover landgrab in history

my only question is that in his quest, will larry be remembered as jenner or nicodemus?

nicodemus

jenner

hand washing

our bathroom is weirdly located between my office and the doors to the elevator. so i often run into co-workers on my way in or out.

yesterday i run into one of the people for whom i work (not my boss, just on this current deal). he emerges and puts out a hand, presumably for shaking.

inner monologue:

errr, dude, you just came from the bathroom.
shit, i gotta shake his hand.
ok, i'm shaking his hand. his hand is wet. please let that be b/c he just washed his hands.
but did he rinse them or truly wash them? did he turn the water on, pump soap, vigorously scrub for a ten count, rinse, grab a paper towel, dry off, then use the paper towel to turn off the faucet (thereby not re-infecting his clean hand on the dirty faucet)?

outer monologue:

hey man, great to see you.

sweeping

did you know that sweeping ice with a broom is now a hot olympic sport?

why asian chicks like white dudes

just about every subculture wrestles with this one. a couple funny dudes at ucsd made a clever flick that's getting airplay on youtube.

i like the cameo by the faux-fob-indian towards the end.

the messenger must be proud

barefoot hermes must be so proud of her brother.

click here.

uhh, shoobie, lo-mein makes an awful lot of appearance in your videos.

nice cameo by ma-retta.

how to end many of your friends' political futures

google will now host your videos.

this has so much potential.

shoobie has harnessed this power on today's entry here.

here's a link to a great clip.

it's what chi phi's do five years after graduation: the same god damn sausage fests we had in college. however, what makes this clip great is not foss chugging an entire maple syrup bottle. it's lo-mein playing his usual role and diver lamenting at the end about how kids don't do this kind of shit anymore.

classic.

what sales people think of business people who went to harvard

upon meeting one of our top sales people, i got to hear this joke:

cooter, a surprisingly smart boy from alabama, makes it to harvard college. while finding his way around campus, he is amazed by the architecture and the fact that there really is ivy on the walls.

he can't find the library though. he spies a professor walking by and walks up to him. "uhh, hello professor, " he drawls. "i seem to be a bit lost. can you tell me where the library is at?"

professor preston lincolshire tweedledum peers down at this country bumpkin. "why, yesssss, i do know where it is. but hasn't anyone told you not to end your sentences with a preposition?"

cooter scratches his head, spits outs his dip, and nods. "yup, i guess you're right."

he pauses.

"ok, well let me try again. can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

i love it.

ligion in concert tonight @ vinyl

one of my best friends from high school (ok, just about the only person from my high school that still talks to me, much less remembers who i am) is visiting today. he's an agent with artists for the performing arts (APA) in their nashville office. one his main acts, ligion, is playing at vinyl tonight.

ligion has a pretty kick ass singer who commands the stage. check out his tunes on myspace here.

if you're in the midtown area, showtime is 10.

project ichiro is closed

whew. project ichiro is closed.

i have realized that i like saying that i work in acquisitions more than i actually like doing acquisitions.

my bet is with ankur & jennipher

jennipher knows her shit when it comes to cards.

she could be a formidable challenge for shoobie.

danielle is on par with the choads that shoobie takes money from at the chi phi house every other friday night.

ankur's make over turned our surprisingly good. his purple jacket is pimp. almost as cool as my baby blue tux. glad he got rid of the unibrow.

but carl, man, i didn't even recognize him as the dungeon master dude from the the first episode.

ankur needs to correct that honky cracker of a host that his name is pronounced "an-koor" not "ankur."

open bar? it comes down to knowing what an open bar is?

all this i learned on from mcgyver

some people call me cheap i like a good deal. last week i found such a deal when we moved one of our software subsidiary's offices from its convenient (for me) bucktown location up to alphacrappa, where the corporate hq sits. we held a firesale and i picked up a five shelf bookcase that actually matches one we are already have at home.

$29. cash.

doyle (the kip look-alike) helps me carry it downstairs. after folding down the back seat of my acura, i find out that the bookcase still won't slide all the way into the trunk. in fact, it won't even fit half way in. there's no way i'm leaving it here. taking my inspiration from mcgyver, i look in my car for any handy materials. i find:

1. jumper cables
2. small bungee cord
3. mountain-climbing quality locking carribeaner

after some trial & error, i mcgyver a fairly clever contraption that actually works:

• i tie the jumper cables to the trunk rails, while the trunk door is open, and knot them tightly
  
• i slide the book shelf in as far it will go
• i hook the bungee cord to my towing hook (luckily, it's on the back of my car)
• i sling the bungee cord around the end of the bookshelf, over and clipped to the jumper cables using the locking caribeaner

i then drive 17 mph from bucktown to inman park. flipping sweet.

mcgyver would be proud

here's where i tied the jumper cables to the rails

locking caribeaner. never leave home without it.

i learned to tie knots like this from locking bloodninja's mom to the radiator

i was about 40% sure that the bungee cord would hold

dr. mpg

dr. mpg showing me an appendectomy, bruins-style

yesterday mpg got into medical school.

it is a huge accomplishment and i'm hugely proud of him.

i think it's even more impressive considering that he applied 6 years after finishing undergrad.

he hasn't picked a speciality yet, but as practicing recreational gynecologist, i've got a suggestion.

we know you could do it, mpg!

(long overdue) moloaa beach

greetings from knoxville. the weather sucks up here as much as is does down there, atlanta friends. drove through some snow this morning on the way up through georgia.

well, finally got around to uploading honeymoon pics. seriously, seriously overdue. i'll post them in batches, but not really in any kind of logical order.

click here to see the first set, from moloaa beach, kauai.

we did 5 days in maui and 10 days in kauai, and by far liked kauai the best. i felt like we really got away from the resort mentality and got to have a really unique experience. so much of kauai is still underdeveloped and it is way less toursity than mauai. moloaa beach is a fantastic place--like having your own private beach. virtually everyone on the beach lived in or was renting one of the beach houses (like us). amazing privacy and pretty nice digs, too.

we rented from from a couple who had done a phat job renovating the place. i would normally highly recommend the Moloaa Beach House: 3531 Moloaa Rd, Moloaa, HI 96703. a great value and nice place, very conveniantly located. superb private terrace and the bedroom windows open up into the bay.

however, i refuse to recommend the place b/c the guy who owns it is a first class dick. his initials are emil mansat. the day we checked out, i left him a message saying that we were going to leave around noon. at 11:45 he shows up, and acts surprised to see us. he said that we were supposed to be out by ten. indeed, according to the fine print, he is right. i explained that our next beach house didn't open until 3 and that i had left him a message, and finally, that many beach house/condos are relaxed about the check out time unless they explicitly post otherwise. he proceeds to keep a substantial portion of our damage deposit. i guess the extra cash meant more to him than customer referrals. i should say that emil's ex-wife dore (they still run the house condo rentals together) was a sweetheart and fantastic to work with.

a few pics:

we woke up to this sunrise every morning

here's the house




we did a sweet kayak tour around the fabled menehune pond. this river is where the opening to sequence to 'indiana jones and raiders of the lost ark' was filmed (where he swings out onto the water and flies away in the bi-plane)

now open: the phoenix branch office

i vastly prefer my new office at the westin kierland

the difference between a rated R blog and an NC-17 blog

my blog is usually pg-13 but sometimes strays to rated r territory.

shoobie's blog can take it to nc-17.

click here to read a sick, sick, funny joke (if you've see the aristocrats, then you'll know what it is) that shoobie blogged.